Sarnia de la Maré FRSA Author, Musician, Artist

🎙 Podcast Episode Description  This short literary podcast features a reading of my poem Where Do I Begin to See the Start of You , written in memory of my father. Misunderstood throughout his life, he grew up in foster care, was later sent to borstal, and carried hidden struggles that today I recognise as signs of undiagnosed autism. The poem reflects on a boy who smiled through sorrow, masked his true self, and was judged harshly by a world that never understood him. Looking back now, with a modern understanding of autism and neurodiversity, I honour the beauty of his mind and the resilience of his spirit. This is both a personal elegy and a wider reminder: how many lives have been marked by silence, masks, and misunderstanding — when what was needed was acceptance, compassion, and pride. Where do I begin to see the start of you When did you become the person that I knew A boy in troubled times So sad behind the smiles Whatever did they do  to rob the soul of you? What l...

 “It” is a poem of confrontation and surrender. A swimmer meets a shadow in the water — fear personified — and must choose between fighting, fleeing, or giving in. In surrender, she is lifted, not drowned, and the poem ends with a startling unity: the self and the shadow fused, terror transformed into transcendence. It My morning swim wreaked havoc on every cell of my sleepy skin. As the silver water lapped around me the black night faded with a hungry sun, and together we took the day for ourselves. Me, the light and the sea. It begins, as many things do, with a shadow. I held my movements treading water with the stealth of a crocodile. Waiting, watching. I know it is there, under the water. It is coming closer feeding off the deafening beat of my heart as it ripples the mercury surface. There was a sound I had not heard before. Baby cries and angel wings echoed in a ravine. And I listened hard in an ominous wait for what was next. The shadow rises, wrap...